date:
Monday, May 30, 2005
don't we just love holidays?! hahaz~ i just cut and dyed my hair! it's supposed to be golden brown, but dunno y got a tinge of red in it..lol.. hopefully after a month of swimming that tinge will fade.. but dunno if can wear to sch.. went back for gp today and had everyone who knew me asking me what colour i dyed and all! lol... derek still asked me if it's red or brown! lol... nah.. play first, worry l8r... end of the month then worry abt sch.. went town today too to shop for sk's present.. but ended up buying alot of other stuff! yah.. that's the thing abt town..u'll just spend all u got~ but we DID get her present.. =) oh and yay i'm starting on a new cross stitch!
kaela @
10:49:00 PM
date:
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
sigh..turn out i'll be getting my stick next tues... this week only the vijayanti sticks... grays next week! lol~ so tired.. watched sherwyn do advertisements thru his webcam, and did huimin's card till abt 3am... *groan* oh i watched star wars too! lol~ wif my "beloved" brother...hahaz~ so sleepy... zzz..
kaela @
10:36:00 PM
date:
Monday, May 23, 2005
yay i'll be getting my hockey stick tmr!! lol~ oh... but i'll be facing alot of music too, cause i left sch w/o permission slip.. teacher lah... got bad cramps and i got my dad to come but she still din lemme out... =S but heaven was on my side, cause i got pass the guard (blended in unknowingly wif the tennis girls but only realized l8r) lol~ ya... sat i went to KAP to meet christy and chun and we bought alot of nonsense.. hahaz~ yup and den ytd we went for hc's string concert! had plenty of exercise cuz we got lost, and we walked from one end to the other and back again... groan.. yup.. but went to support weixuan mah~ yup... it was really nice... he very li hai.. cause he can do so much stuff! can play double bass, can swim, can cycle, can run, can do chinese calligraphy, can paint, can do wushu, can take trip sci in hc, artistic, used to hold 3 ccas in sec sch, used to be councillor too.. oh my... plus he designed the concert programme book and banner!!! lol... i'm advertising for him~ hahaz~ he better pay me commission or something~! =0)lol~
kaela @
10:56:00 PM
date:
Monday, May 16, 2005
my grandad was cremated around 3 today... so now... i'll really never see him again... it feels weird... can't get used to the idea of going to my grandparents' place, and not see him there anymore... i really dunno what's going on with me.. but thanks so much for ur encouragements.. i'll find a way to pull thru~ so much work to catch up on now...
kaela @
8:43:00 PM
date:
Friday, May 13, 2005
i dunno what's going on... keep seeing death all around.. last week a girk in my school died after years of struggle with pneumonia.. on monday, my class senior committed suicide... and like 1 hour ago i received news that my grandad passed away... the news shocked me at first... and the tears just started falling... the teacher sent me home.. i feel so lost now... i've always been visiting my grandad on weekends and all.. but cause i've been so busy recently... i think it's abt a month since ive seen him... and now, i will never get to see him alive anymore...
kaela @
12:33:00 PM
date:
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
why do i even try? nothing ever works out... i thought things were starting to turn okay... but they've just got worse... i'm a lousy person i guess... oh my dad wanted to kick me out of the house... my mum told me to quit sch and be a pros.... nice warm family~ it's not them... it's me... i've changed...i feel like i'm getting more rebellious, but i dun really care... i just dun care abt anything now... i dun even noe y i tried studying so hard just now, y i'm trying to do my pi now, y i'm even typing so much... it really doesn't matter... i don't noe y.... i just dun care~ sometimes i feel so lonely and so tired... all i want to do is sleep and forget everything... and never wake up... everything abt me is such a big mistake.... but i'm stronger now... i wun allow myself to cry... cause i dun really care now~
kaela @
9:41:00 PM
date:
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
oh yay i ran 2.4 in the rain today~ so fun~ but so soggy and wet~ lol~ but dunno y after i run i'll always get a really bad headache~ so giddy and painful i feel i can just faint..... sigh~ things haf been going so badly... i really dun like studying what i'm studying now... and when i try to talk to my parents, they'll get angry... esp my mum... today... she said she's tired of asking me to go to study, cause i dun want to... she said' quit school. go to work as a pros... den u earn ur own money and dun take a single cent from me' ... oh well... haiz~ i've been failing every single test.. i think i'm like bottom of the class and all... so much work, so many tests.... but like i'm the only one who can't seem to cope... and i really dun care.. PI's due next week, and i dun even noe what qn to do yet... but i really dun care AT ALL! i dunno y either... too tired... nothing ever seems to go right... and i've kinda gotten used to that fact.... resigned already~ occasionally... i might think...'hey, mayb i can do it'... but everything just demoralizes me... i dun even noe why God sent me here...i can't do anything for His name... except bring shame... i used to think this is where he wanted me to be...but... i guess i'm wrong...or i'm not good enough... i dunno y either... i've tried... but i still fail everything... to the extent... i dun even feel sad anymore... i just feel numbed... i really don't care..i can't be bothered to do my hw... to pay attention in lecs, etc...even to do my PI... think i'll end up being a dropout... oh 1 of my seniors just committed suicide... he's from my senior class... i wonder where he is now...cause it's sinful to commit suicide... that's y i can't do it~ sometimes i just wish i'll contract some terminal illness... den i'll tour the world and just leave this world behind... but it's just a dream... hahaz~ like the one i've had since young... and dreams... dun usually come true....
kaela @
10:49:00 PM
date:
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
oh yay i'm 17~! hahaz~ oh btw the template is done by darren~! heez~ thanks~! yup~ ... school's getting slightly better...my birthday was a mixed one - wild, fun, painful, sad, tiring... yup...went to dunearn's sports meet...(actually i went to gombak coz i 4got it's at cck) yup den had a sleepover at eunice's place... and i got sabo-ed quite badly... ya... got so dirty!! hahaz~ ya... den spent the weekend studying at cb~ hahaz~ oh... but finally got to take our long-awaited neoprints~ (me and cp) ya~ now... full of body aches!!! had hockey training just now... den it actually started raining!!! so we played in the rain, but yay! my team won~ hahaz~ but my hand hurts now...ouch~ hahaz~ and there's a hole in my bag!!! lousy days... lol~ =0) oh ya... and chem test was a killer~ *gr0an*
kaela @
8:24:00 PM